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so we kiss like little kids
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| fucking hell. |
[27 Jun 2006|10:34am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
i hate this feeling.
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[28 Feb 2006|05:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
no doubt- by the way |
] |
my good gracious.
i haven't done this lil' bit in a longgg time.
maybe,
maybe i'll start doing this again.
maybe.
we'll see.
i just wanna say wanna say wanna say.
that i just feel good.
and i haven't for wayyy too long.
so basically.
i'm happyyy and i'm smilin' all the time.
bitches are trying to fuck it up.
but they don't have to like me.
because i don't like them.
one bit.
i just like him.
more than i thought i could.
genuine.
that doesn't happen much.
and holy shit.
it's amazing. really.
and i sound like a fuckhead.
but blahblahblah.
i don't care.
i'm just happy.
jazzed.
electrified.
eeeeeeeeeee. :)
ooookaaayyyyy,
bye.
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[13 Sep 2005|07:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
elliot smith- like i even know what the song is called. |
] |
holy shit. it's been a while.
hi:)
so. sososo.
I GOT A FUCKIN MINIMIZER BRA.
yeah, that's right.
look who's hot shit now.
and some of the pointiest shoes this side of the mississippi.
i could kill people with them if i wanted to.
and that's comforting.
so the bastards at school kicked me out of algebra.
possibly the only class i was really comfortable being in.
because it was like... a surefire A for me.
soooo now i'm in FST
which isn't bad
because mrs. weiherman is good
and maya's in it with me. :) :) :)
so i finally have a class with at least ONE of my babies.
on sunday i went to this brunch thing for my grandma's birthday
and it was at my aunt&uncle's nice-ass condo.
i would so live there.
so i made her a scarf for her birthday
and she went around telling all my relatives "lena made this!"
she's so cute.
and my little 2-year-old cousin was awfully grabby grabby.
he's a cutie but my god he's a pervert.
so last night me and maya went to little mr. grabby grabby's birthday party
and it was at pearl street ice cream. or whatever. the old ferrel's.
and me and maya got a HOT FUDGE NUTTY NUTTY
just so i could say the name to the server kid.
who just so happened to say the wrong name when he sang happy birthday.
what a tardtard.
so there is exactly one(1) immensely cute boy in my english class.
and oh man, he's cute as heck.
i'll be his friend.
i just know it.
i fuckin finished invisible monsters!!!!!!!
it's so amazing.
mindblowing.
perfect.
thought-provoking.
everything i could ever want in a book.
so my mom bought it so she can read it.
ohohoh and i've been an elliot smith FIEND lately.
absolutely.
i love him with all my heart and soul.
well shit. venture data naver called.
so it looks like i'm gonna apply at an old folks' home.
sounds like a plan to me.
i'm on a mission for the cozmic pizza man.
me and nikki each get one.
and it'll be perfectttttt.
ps: oc party tomorrow night.
it's onnnnnnnn.
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[27 Aug 2005|09:58pm] |
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOWWWWWWW
my last 2 entries have been friends only,
and i will continue that.
thankyouu.
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[17 Aug 2005|04:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
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elton john- rocket man |
] |
oofta.
so the other day
it was weird
but cute.
nick and heath were across the street paying lizzy's dad for the car
and they called me.
got me out of bed at about 1:30
and knocked the hell out of my door
until i would come downstairs and let them in.
so i go downstairs
tired as heck
and wearing sweats
and let them in.
it was good times.
heath was wayy cuddly
even though i was still on sleep mode.
ohhh yeahhhh
so i finished my scarf :)
i learned how to cast off and i did it
and now i have a perfect scarf.
iloveit.
and i started on one for my mom
and i'm almost done with it already.
oh the beauty of big-ass knitting needles.
so basically.
zane left me a cute comment.
which explains exactly the way i want to be with somebody.
in love, and we don't have to "do it or make out or anything"
and it would just feel good.
that paints a nice picture.
my mommy took me shopping yesterday.
sheeit, it was good.
portlaaaaaaaaanddddddddd.
last week of august.
OVERNIGHT.
who woulda thought??
sounds like a blast and a half.
ps:iloveyou.
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[12 Aug 2005|04:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
blood brothers- beautiful horses |
] |
guess who got their schedule for back to school.
i hate those words.
but i didddddd get the piece of paper.
ohshit.
FIRST SEMESTER
period 2:AP english.
period 3:algebra
period 4:spanish 2
period 5:ceramics
SECOND SEMESTER
period 1:spanish 3
period 2:AP english
period 3:sociology/psychology
period 5:fabric art
so pretty much. i'm happy with my schedule.
so last night we went to scandi fest...
and it was alright.
since it was junction city, heath called on his lunch break and i went to see him
and i feel bad.
because all my babies had to walk foreverrrrr down the main road with me to that safeway.
but shiiit. i was so happy.
he looks nice in a tie :)
haha.
but scandi fest itself was a wee bit boring.
whateverrrr
i think me and marissa are taking cans back now :)
how crafty.
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[09 Aug 2005|10:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cherry poppin daddies- soul cadillac |
] |
mmkay.
so last night was just real real good.
i got to see heath for the first time in a week
and it was good stuff.
movie night.
/cuddling.
ohgood.
so todayyyy
i decided it would be a nice break to stay home
and be cozy in my sweatpants.
and knit a bunch.
and try to get rid of the simultaneous head and tummy aches.
and tonight
i'm excited
because i'm gonna watch harold and maude.
quite possibly one of the greatest movies of all time.
and one of the greatest love stories too.
with a kick-ass soundtrack by cat stevens.
who just so happens to be amazing.
awshit.
everysingledayyyyy
you're my mistake
you'll be much better
than yesterdayyyyy
i love the cherry poppin daddies.
i don't care what you say.
kbye.
:)
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[08 Aug 2005|04:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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hanson- penny and me |
] |
ohshit.
so yesterdayyyyy
i went shopping with my mommy.
and she bought me a shirt and purse.
cutestuff.
and then we went to joann fabrics
and she got me big-ass knitting needles
and damn cute yarn.
so i started a scarf.
and i'm already almost halfway done with it :)
damn.
i'm proud of myself.
so we went to katie's and watched a movie.
and i feel way bad.
i want nikki to be with me.
i need her sugarbuns.
and i don't want her to be sad.
then this morning.
ohhhhhshit.
so heath woke me up
and i went back to sleep.
and i had this dream
a terrible horrible dream.
that my mom and my brother both were telling me that they hate me.
like... serious hate.
and that they think i'm such a terrible person.
and my mom kicked me out.
and i couldn't figure out why they hated me so much.
and then i woke up bawling and calling my mom
to make sure she still loves me.
it was some scary shit.
nightmares can suck it.
and then i made brownies.
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[06 Aug 2005|04:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hanson- deeper |
] |
i cut some bangs on my bad self.
i kind of think i really do like them.
straight across. kind of fun.
last night scared the heck out of me a few times.
going to the freakin thigh murder house.
i sware.
someday, i will hear it knock back at me.
but for now i'm just gonna have to take their word for it.
and the cemetery?
bottles clanging?
little girl laughing?
what the fuck?
creepy stuff.
i crashed at katie's at about 2 in the morning.
everybody else stayed up till about 6.
how??
i was so tired. i just couldn't do it.
marissa gave me the hanson cd:)
which means i can finally love it ALL THE TIME.
it's amazing.
guess who never called yesterday.
paranoid?
maybe half.
okokok.
looks like i'm gonna go.
iloveyou and you and you and you.
you know who you are.
:)
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[03 Aug 2005|02:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
maroon 5- sunday morning |
] |
i went on "the doubler".
ohshit.
and i got to show off how bad i am at bowling
and mini golf.
and be with a good boy.
a cute one.
a sweet one.
one that i really think i like.
quite a fancy bit.
and thennnnn
a couple days ago.
i went to his house.
alllllll the way out in the middle of the world.
damn.
what a cutie-ass.
my parents like to yell at me a lot.
"LENA EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT"
whaaaaat?
hahahaha.
funny how that's a real actual quote and he didn't think it was funny when he said it.
coolbeans.
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[30 Jul 2005|05:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
the ataris will always and forever be me and maya's band.
so long astoria will always and forever be our cd.
boys of summer will always and forever be our song.
and we have memories.
here in this diary
i write you visions of my summer
it was the best i ever had.
there were choruses and sing-alongs
and that unspoken feeling
of knowing that right now is all that matters.
all those nights we stayed up talking,
listening to '80's songs
quoting lines from all those movies that we loved
it still brings a smile to my face.
i guess when it comes down to it
being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
these are the best days of our lives.
the only thing that matters is just following your heart
and eventually we'll finally get it right.
ohshitiloveit.
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[28 Jul 2005|02:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
blood brothers- wolf party |
] |
ohgoodgracious.
i just... haven't updated.
anyways.
i had a birthday, yes i did.
and it was marvelous.
i FINALLY got a digital camera.
as soon as i figure out how to post pictures in this godforsaken livejournal,
there will be plenty.
nikki baby made me a card
with all the wonders of the world in it.
there was...
billy ray cyrus
the fat girl with the thong from warped tour
me and nikki by the porta potties
and a man on the back with a silly hat.
and she and marissa made me a birthday mix cd
full of wonders.
and they also made me boob cakes.
ilovethosegirls.
i missed maya the whole freakin time she was gone.
but now she's in my arms :)
and marissa got me lots of beautiful things.
one of them being a huge bottle of jesus perfume.
ben got me crimes by the blood brothers.
crystal got me glorious shoes.
ohhh baby.
and katie.
she romanced me under the stars.
shit honey.
just good stuff.
awsheeit.
so i'm realizing more and more that me and andrew wouldn't have lasted much longer anyways.
it was just too much.
whatevaaaa. i'm good now.
meadowview last night :)
after gateway.
meadowview is so magical.
i don't even understand how it's so good.
and then maya baby spent the night.
oh what wonderful things.
we spent a half freakin hour to find out it was a coffin.
how ridiculous.
and then we had bagel bites.
and part of from hell.
and lots of iced tea.
good stuff and lots more good stuff.
so
ilovemyfriendsalot.
more than life itself.
ok.
well.
i do declare
that i'm going to leave.
until we meet againnnnn
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[22 Jul 2005|02:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
thursday- war all the time |
] |
SO.
i went to bleeding through on thursdayyy
and it was absolutely amazing.
there were a bunch of people i knew there
and it was all-around good times.
i was shopping all day in portland leading up to the show.
good stuff.
and oh my jesus.
bleeding through is so amazing.
me and crystal were going crazy together.
sooo brandon kept coming over to the corner where we were standing and singing/screaming at us.
gorgeous.
and then... at the end of the set.
brandon came over to our corner.
and it was the last song... on wings of lead
and me and crystal were singing along
since it was that one part...
"i've done this all before, i've done it over and over again"
or something like that.
and he actually put his godlike hand on my head.
i was amazed and astounded.
so the boy.
not mine anymore.
fuck.
so on wednesday i get this text that says he doesn't know if he likes me just as a friend or as a girlfriend.
what the fuck. why was he even with me if he had any doubts??
so i can't even help it. i just bawl. and then i went to a movie with maya and jesse.
and then to the park. and i couldn't help but bawl again.
i hate crying.
so the next day i tried to keep it off my mind but i couldn't really.
and then yesterday he texts me.
"so what do you want for your b-day?"
excuse me?
did i miss something?
did we have a big conversation that i somehow didn't know about?
whateverrr.
so i called him when i got out of the movie and we talked a little.
and it was weird, considering all the silences.
and the extraordinary amount of time it took to answer my abundant questions.
so i laid it out and said i just needed an answer because i needed to stop worrying about it.
and it just seemed to me like he didn't want to break it off because he wanted me there in case he decided that he could stand to be with me.
whatthefuckever.
i'm not going to be the one who waits around and feels vulnerable AGAIN.
because i can't even say how many times i've been in that position.
and it's horrible.
so he says let's just be friends, and "maybe something will happen later".
nope.
it won't.
i'll make damn sure of it.
because i know that if i pulled this shit on him, he would have managed it waaaayyyyy worse than i did.
so i got off the phone and cried a little.
and danny was nice and bought me taco bell.
aw shit.
i need a boy who won't jerk me around and stuff.
then holding hands, and life was perfect.
iwishiwishiwish.
okleaving.
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[15 Jul 2005|08:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ima robot- 12=3 |
] |
mmkay what the heck is up with me? i haven't updated this shit in forevaaaaa.
so warped tour.
amazing as heck.
and then some.
billy idol has a holyshit body and that's all there is to it. i can't even believe how amazing he looks. especially at his age.
i promise, there will be some babies in the future between me and that man.
and it was raining for a good part of the day, but somehow i managed to get myself sunburned.
and i got an armor for sleep hoodie, which is beautiful, and i finally used a sewing machine all by myself to make it fit me.
we kept seeing the frontman of strike anywhere all over the place.
aww sheeit, it was just good stuff. all around awesome.
and thennnn
a couple nights ago i went to see streetlight cardiacs for the first time in a freakin eternity. they were sooooo good.
all the streetpunks were there: wade, james, dylan, screech, eric, whateva. all of them.
and wade offered to buy me a 40 if i would drink the whole thing.
sick-ass.
i feel bad because andrew's pretty much grounded for coming home late.
till monday.
and i feel like it's kinda my fault cuz he was with me.
shiiiiit oh well.
he went to seattle today and got himself a mini bike.
he won't get me to ride it. i sware.
so last night+the night before is possibly the most laughing i've done in a while.
i've been going to parks with nikki/danny/chris/nate and laughing my ass off.
yesterday it was mt. kilimanjaro park... and chris killed me on everything that can spin.
and danny had the spaceship... which was actually the retard swing.
and apparently nate thinks andrew stinks like boots.
but he's never met him.
he just wanted me to get off the phone.
nate+nikki=cute to the max. i hope they hook it up.
okwellcrap. miles is coming tomorrowwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i'm excited as heck.
and jason/justin are supposed to be here today but i haven't heard from either of them.
assholes.
i miss them like heck.
anyways with miles we're gonna have a weeklong cuddle/dance/movie party.
it will be grand.
bleeding through is on thursday :)
i'm so happy i could pee.
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[06 Jul 2005|01:53am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
from first to last- kiss me i'm contagious |
] |
fourth of july was good. just real good. went to andrew's landlord's house which is wayyyyyyyyy out in the middle of nowhere and had a cute little "wedding" for my little boy and his girlfriend. they said cute vows that they wrote themselves and then had their wedding kiss to fireworks in the background. it doesn't get much cuter than that. andrew was the best man and he was wearing a kilt. that boy's got some nice little legs on him. soooo then tracy spent the night and in the morning "e-man" walked about an hour from his house to my house to come get tracy and go out for ice cream. this is cute. ohohoh last night i saw mayaaaaaaaaa too! i hadn't seen her since about... bearvs.shark?? or maybe the day after or something. oh how i missed that honeybuns.
so todayyyy. got coffee with andrew. and went to see cinderella man. long-ass movie. and then we went to wal-mart and then to the howard playground.
i feel weird. like... stomach=throwing up feeling and my head hurts. maybe i should eat? probably. maybe then i could sleep.
welllllllll. i think i might just need to leave now.
byeeeee honey.
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| ohshit. |
[30 Jun 2005|02:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
boyfriend mobile came by and decided to give me one. i think i like him. and i think i'll keep him awhile. i'll name him.... andrew. <3yesss.
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| i kind of like you. |
[15 Jun 2005|12:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
my own little humming. |
] |
01. Comment with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
03. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
04. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
05. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
06. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
07. I'll write something you've taught me.
08. Put this in your journal
i probably love you more than you know, so this would be a good thing to do. :)
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[12 Jun 2005|05:09pm] |
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mmkay soooo over the weekend. didn't do much at allllllll. but i DID get to go see horse the band, suckaaaaaa. mmkay soo yeah friday night was just good for the most part. aerodrone played, and they were fun, and they sounded a whole lot better than last time. and then it was the kirby who i ABSOLUTELY FELL IN LOVE WITH.... like beyond belief i love them sooo much. and then there was this other band.. i forgot what they're called but i'm not too fond of them. thennn it was this day's end, and they were awesome as always. i was standing/dancing with aelishia and mick and that was fun, and ryan was standing by me and obsessing over sam the whole time. "i wanna be that microphone." ohhh shit, that was great. and then and then and then after this day's end was horse, and ohh baby they were just AWESOME. they put on such an awesome show, and grub, jp, shawn, and royce ended up on the floor in an orgy and all screaming into the mic. how cute :) sooo yeah also that night i made friends with luke.. he's like a much much much more masculine version of danny to me... who doesn't wear make-up and doesn't wear sooo god damn much pink. so basically he's way cute. annnnd there was that stupid "couple". well i guess they're a couple now anyways. amazing how somebody could have so much disregard for one of their "friends". cute cute cute. well i guess they're meant for each other. BUT OH OH OH I GOT TO SEE BEN!!!!!!!!!! i was so excited. i hadn't seen him in like 5/6 days so i tackled him as soon as i saw him. shoot, i really don't like having him not live here. whateverrrrr. that night was just good for the most part, even though some people were just.. ugh.
sooo yeah saturday night was pretty much uneventful. yeah, that's about all there is to it. oh but here's a word of advice: never watch an independent film called "bully". it's just a bunch of people who like to get naked and fuck eachother... really gross stuff too... and then they plot to kill a guy. oh and they beat each other up. it's just one really long abusive sex scene.
aaaand sunday i made a poster about tattoos and piercings and stuff and i had to do a speech about it today for diaz's class. whatfreakingever. he spent forever and a day talking about the freakin fortner's speech, so my speech ended up getting cut off right when i was about to read the concluding paragraph. ohhh well, at least i'm done done DONE. shoot, i don't know why i'm so irritated today. in child development my teacher was reading something about poor kids, and normally i would just think it was sad and not really be all that affected by it, but i almost started bawling in the middle of class. i was actually holding back tears from some article my teacher was reading. how weird. i think it's just wayyy too much stress that i'm dealing with right now so everything is getting to me. crapcrapcrap. 2 more days, and they're finals days. i can't fuckin waaaaaaiiiiiiiittttttt for it to be over.
ok wellllll i'm gonna go make some barbie clothes. iloveyouuuuuu
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| once upon a time |
[05 Jun 2005|05:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
HIM- circle of fears |
] |
soooo saturday night was good. i went to shari's and then to see lords of dogtown with nikki marissa and maya. i love absolutely LOVE being with them. just good stuff. and then i went home and at about 3:30 in the morning cord calls me and he's asking for directions to my house. he pretty much got bored and took his grandpa's car and came to eugene to see me :) so i sat out in his car with him for like 20 minutes and then i went back inside. sooo when i got inside i remembered miles wanted me to call him so i did and it was just good. i got to talk to him for over an hour and i haven't talked to him in forever and a half. shooooooooot i can't wait till next month when he comes to visit.
ben moved out. :( shoot i don't want him to be living awayyyyy. oh well i'll just hang out at his apartment a whole lot.
i had to go to the doctor today. at least this time it's a girl and not the incredibly creepy old man i used to have. i'm wayyyyyyy happy... i didn't have to wear a paper dress and i didn't have to get poked at and i didn't have to do one of those stupid tests i was convinced i'd have to do. shoot, and she told me there's nothing wrong with me, it's probably just stress. i'm just... happy.
so after the doctor my mom took me out to lunch and then she took me shopping and bought me a whole bunch of stuff. i kind of like being really dependent on my parents sometimes. and i like how my mom is just so ready and willing to buy me things today. i think she was relieved or something.
ohohoh so horse the band is on friday:) it's gonna be a good show. and this day's end is playing... i love those boys.
mmkay time to go. byeeeeee
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[03 Jun 2005|06:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
thursday- war all the time |
] |
so we kiss like little kids<3
quite possibly my favorite song lyrics ever. just cute.
sooo yesterday was kind of weird and stuff. and full of borings, so we all went home and went to bed midnightish. i really do love going downtown with some of my favorite people. and the empty is good too. but sadsadsad there were only like 30 people there. whatthefuckever. jorje:) and my left kneecap is named Tunko. oh marissa and her laughlaughlaughs.
so yeah. my parents really think terrible things about me. my mom thinks i have depression, aside from the whole pregnancy thing, and my dad says i'm "borderline anorexic". why didn't he think that when i was way way skinny and he called me fat? now i'm not even tiny and he thinks i'm being unhealthy. whateverrrrrr my parents just really don't know.
so i've decided that i just need a boy. i can't seem to find any that are good at all, and if i think they're good they turn out being completely retarded. and douchey. and so i can't find anybody. i pretty much think i need a makeout buddy for now. until i can find somebody who will just... work out good.
ok so tonight i think i'm gonna see lords of dogtown? sounds good.
and so it was.
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